I am in the mood to type and get my thoughts out. David and I's niece Abigail has been in the hospital the last few days with a type of infection. David has been checking with Rebecca at least every three to six hours trying to help Becca out and make sure she knows what is going on. I honestly hope everything turns out okay for Abby, Becca and Luke but it scares me to death to hear David talking about all this and it kind of makes me sad. My husband shouldn't know all the things that he knows about tests and hospitals!
It is times like these when I hear about other people and their babies going through things that I am reminded that I'm not quite ready for us to have another one -there are some fears that I need to get over first. Yet... there are also days like today when I get to hold one of the cutest and healthiest baby's you have ever seen and I see how happy he is and how happy and fun that family is and it makes me want to have a family of my own!
The holidays are coming up-and I wish that David and I could start traditions of our own-I know that we don't have any living children but we are still a family even if it is just the two of us! Today we carved out pumkins and we will take one out to Keagen and a mask that a little boy made him (One of the boys in one of my classes cameup to me and asked if I had kids, I said one, he asked if it was a boy or girl and I said boy, he then asked me to give a homemade mask to him) =)
I am still ever thankful that God spared him the pain, but it is during the holidays that things are just a little harder to handle. I would like to do something every year to remember him by but I can't seem to think of anything that means something to both of us. There is another little boy who is in Kindergarden and his name is Keegen-I thought about giving him something every year but how do you explain something like that. I don't want to sound like I am drowning in grief; I just want to celebrate his life in a way that will benefit someone else in the process. I have also thought about doing something with the specail needs children at the elementary school but not sure what.
Thanks for listening to my rambling I felt like I just needed to get that out. God is always good to us and has blessed us with many things and in many ways. God is good.
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2 comments:
Oh Trina, your thoughts are sincere and honest. No one can look down on you for that! I know that you and David will find something special to do to celebrate Keagen's short life.
Kat,
Okay the mask is a tear jerker! How sweet of that little boy! I wonder if that's Gods way of telling you HE loves you. Anyhow...I enjoyed reading your honest thoughts, and I'm glad that you being around JOJO gives you that desire to have another. You guys are so special to us and we love you and Keagen. Maybe every year in celebration you can buy a really nice scented candle. Every time you light it, it will remind you of him. The scent will be comforting and enjoyable. Maybe splurge and buy the nicest,most beautiful candle you can find. Just a thought :) Love you
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